We Get Better With Investment and Risk (Duh)

You Can’t Get Better Without Investment and Risk

When I'm teaching principals, I’ve come across a familiar objection.
“Yeah, but that would take work and risk.”

I understand why someone says this.
Work and risk cost something.

Everything I’m good at today required an investment from me.
I learned, practiced, and took risks.
I put something into the process before I could expect a different result.
So when someone tells me they want better results with little or no investment and little or no risk, I don't expect much to change.

Kevin Eikenberry and I explored this idea through a different question.
What do you do when someone wants to improve, and they want the outcome without the investment?
His answer started with something I appreciate deeply.
Grace.

Start With Curiosity, Not Dismissal

Kevin said he doesn't want to respond dismissively.
Instead, he hopes to respond with grace and curiosity.
He might say, “I'm not sure that's how the world works.”
Then he asks a question.
“What do you think?”
That creates room for a conversation.
It also creates room for the other person to examine an assumption they may not have examined before.
Instead of telling someone they're wrong, you can hold up a mirror.
“Here's what I'm hearing you say.”
“I'm not sure that's how the world looks.”
“Show me how that world looks like that to you.”
I find that approach powerful because people operate based on how they see the world.
If someone sees a situation differently from me, simply telling them that they're wrong rarely helps me understand what they're seeing.
I need to understand their perspective and get curious about the assumptions underneath it.
That doesn't mean I have to agree with those assumptions.
It means I can understand them well enough to have a meaningful conversation.

There Is Always Some Investment

Kevin made a simple observation.
“There is no such thing as a free lunch.”
We can’t get something for nothing.
Improvement requires some form of investment.
That investment might require time, effort, learning, or a different approach to the situation.
Risk also exists everywhere.We often talk about risk as though it only appears when we make an enormous decision.
And yet, risk is part of ordinary life.
Kevin points out that there is risk in walking out your door and even walking to the front step.
The same is true when we lead, learn, build relationships, or try something unfamiliar.
So the question isn't whether risk exists.
The more useful question might be, “What level of risk am I willing to accept in pursuit of something I value?”
That question gives us somewhere to work.

Hold Up the Mirror

Kevin described his approach as holding the mirror up.
Imagine someone standing in front of a mirror and finally seeing something they hadn't noticed.
You don't need to tell them what to look for.
You can give them space to see the reflection for themselves.
Instead, you can invite them to look.

If my goal is to help someone move forward, we can challenge them without attacking them.
We can ask questions instead of immediately giving answers.
We can remain curious when their perspective differs from ours.
Most importantly, we can try to help them discover something they don't see yet.

People Often Need Help Seeing What They Can't See

Kevin made another important point.
If I want to help someone move forward, I need to help them see something they don't see now.
In practice, it can mean bringing patience.
Someone who feels stuck may already feel vulnerable.
A demanding response can push someone into defensiveness.
Once that happens, the conversation can turn into a struggle over who is right.
Questions give us another way forward.
They create room for someone to think, explore, and discover something they couldn't see before
Kevin called discovery learning the most powerful kind of learning.
There is a particular moment when someone says, “Now I see what I didn't see before.”
The insight comes from their own discovery.
That can carry a different weight from simply being told what to think.

Discovery Can Move a Conversation Forward

As leaders and coaches, we often want to help quickly.
We see the problem and the possible solution.
When I point directly at the answer, the other person may focus more on defending their current position than exploring a new one.
Questions can create a different experience.
“What do you think?”
“How do you see the situation?”
“Show me how that makes sense from your perspective.”
“What might you be missing?”
Those questions can open a door.
The person still has to walk through it.
I can't force discovery
I can create conditions where discovery has a better chance to happen.

Truth and Grace Can Exist Together

One of the phrases from our conversation that stands out to me is Kevin's description of balancing “truth and grace.”
Truth without grace can feel like an attack.
Grace without truth can leave people stuck.
A compassionate conversation doesn't require to pretend that every idea makes sense.
I can care about someone while still challenging their assumptions.
Respecting someone doesn't mean I have to accept every way they see a situation.
I can ask them to examine their thinking while giving them the space to reach their own conclusions.
And I can listen carefully enough to say, “I'm not sure that's how the world works.”
That combination creates a different kind of leadership.
It gives people room to think without removing the responsibility to think.

A Gift We Can Give as Leaders

Kevin described helping someone see something they've never seen before as “a pretty big gift.”
I agree.
Leadership can sometimes look like providing answers.
Coaching can sometimes look like providing direction.
And some of the most valuable experiences come when we help another person discover something for themselves.
That requires us to slow down.
It needs curiosity and patience.
It takes the humility to understand how another person sees the world.
It also takes accepting that we can't control the moment when discovery happens.
We can ask, listen, reflect and challenge. 
Then we can give the other person room to think.

Start With the Question

When someone tells me they want a better result without work, investment, or risk, I need to remind myself to hold off on dismissing them.
I can get curious and ask what they think.
I can hold up the mirror and explore how they see the world.
Then I can help them examine whether their current assumptions can actually produce the result they want.
That conversation may take more patience than simply telling someone what they're doing wrong.
It may also take us much further.
I've learned that improvement requires something from us.
The exact investment differs from situation to situation.
The risk differs too.
And the conversation starts when we're willing to acknowledge that reality.
What are you asking for right now?
What are you willing to invest?
What risk are you willing to take?
And if you're helping someone else move forward, what question could help them see something they don't see today?


Get free resources on building the community you long for at www.charlesvogl.com

Order the 2nd Edition with 25% new content