Escaping the Inner Ring Trap: How to Stop Chasing and Start Living
The Academy Award That Wasn't Enough
There was a time when I dreamed of making films.
Then I wanted to make documentaries.
Then, documentaries that were funded by respected institutions.
Then I wanted to be a PBS filmmaker.
Then, in the top festivals.
Then, I wanted awards.
I got some.
But the journey never showed me the end.
Even among friends who also had Oscars, I heard things like, “I need to win a second one so people won't think I got lucky.”
I now recognize I, and others, were caught in a pattern called out by what C.S. Lewis called “The Inner Ring.”
What Is the Inner Ring?
C.S. Lewis, the celebrated English writer, observed that in any society, there are always groups that feel exclusive.
And just outside of every one of those is another ring of people trying to get in.
Once inside, people always discover there's yet another more exclusive ring even more enticing.
The desire to get inside, to be included with more exclusive people, to get validated never ends.
It’s a trap.
If you've ever longed to get into the inside, whether in your career, social life, or athletic community, you’ve likely felt it too.
Lewis argued that no inner ring in this pattern, no matter how prestigious, ever finally satisfies.
The validation never sticks.
The status is never enough.
The Trap of Infinite Ascent
Think about it this way:
On an infinite journey, no matter how far you travel, you’re still nowhere near the end.
You'll only ever cover an infinite fraction.
And that fraction, no matter how hard-earned, will inevitably feel insufficient.
This is the emotional cost of chasing the inner ring.
How to Know if You’re Caught
According to Lewis, the problem isn't inner rings. The problem is our never-ending desire to get into the next one. The problem is also what terrible, inconsiderate, and self-serving things we will do to get into the next inner ring.
So how do we tell if we’re motivated in a healthy way to get into the next inner ring? How can we tell if we’ve fallen into the inner ring trap?
Here’s one powerful question:
Is this helping me grow into who I want to be?
That question changes everything.
If I’m pursuing a ski instructor certification, it might lead to a new ring of experienced instructors.
But I’m not doing it for the title.
I make an effort to participate to grow with people who have and continue to grow as I hope to.
This is radically different from chasing a ring for the ring’s sake.
The Way Out: Rediscovering Friendship
Lewis didn’t just diagnose, he offered a way out.
He wrote that the antidote to the trap is friendship.
Not networking.
Real, shared-experience friendship.
He encouraged us to find something we love doing, and then do it often.
We can invite others who love it as well to join us.
Then something beautiful will happen.
We'll grow relationships.
Maybe even deep ones.
Eventually, people on the outside may look at us and think that we just formed another “inner ring.”
But we're not.
We're not keeping our friendships exclusive for exclusivity.
We will continue gathering for love, fun and companionship.
That's how we build friendship. And friendship, does feel satisfying.
Reflection
Are you chasing inclusion?
Or are you creating spaces where gathering in a way that is fun is enough?
Are you growing toward the person you want to become?
Or are you just trying to be seen as someone important?
Let go of the ring.
Lean into the friendships.
I promise you, it feels so much better.
Watch the full conversation here: The Art of Community Conversations Episode 7
Get free resources on building the community you long for at www.charlesvogl.com
