How Warmth Shapes the Way People Relate

The Conversation That Brought Us Back to the Campfire

I recently spoke with Scott Gould for a conversation that felt both current and ancient.
Scott and I collaborated on a project serving thousands of security professionals.
People whose work depends on trust, connection, and coordinated action with real stakes.
Scott served for years as a church minister, a consultant on engagement, and is now the author of The Shape of Engagement.
Both of us spent time in non-transactional environments where people gather for reasons informed by values and contribution.
Those settings hold lessons many workplaces overlook.

The Science Behind Something We Already Know

Scott shared research that confirmed what humans have intuitively known for thousands of years.
The phrase researchers use is simple.

Physical warmth promotes interpersonal warmth.

When people experience physical warmth, their guard lowers.
Their nervous system relaxes.
They feel safer.
And safety is where trust grows.

Modern research shows that something as simple as a hot drink can shift how people relate to one another.
Warm environments foster prosocial behavior.
Cold environments influence distance and detachment.

Why Many Religious Gatherings Get This Right

Across cultures and traditions, religious gatherings consistently include warmth.
So much fire and food.
Crowded spaces filled with people.

Passover meals.
Communal feasts.
Sacred fires.

The Campfire Experiences Were Never Only About Fire

When I teach leaders about creating Campfire Experiences, I make the point that we must create intimate experiences for durable and trusting relationships to form. 

The campfire represents intimacy.
It represents small-scale gatherings.

Scott’s insight adds another layer to this truth.
Warmth is not just poetic.
Warmth influences our physiology.

You Do Not Need More Evidence to Share Soup

Ten thousand years of human history is a compelling tradition to notice where our own families formed the relationships that supported them through the toughest years and eras.

People share soup.
They feel closer.

Recent research confirms what lived experience already taught us.
Smell matters.
Lighting matters.
Proximity matters.

Warmth matters.

You do not need to understand every layer or study.
You simply need to practice what has worked for generations.

What Leaders Can Do Right Now

Design for Safety
People do not connect when they feel exposed or evaluated.

Reduce Scale
Smaller gatherings invite intimate conversations and private moments.

Incorporate Warmth
Serve hot food.
Offer warm drinks.
Choose lighting that softens our experience.

Stop Over-Engineering
Connection grows from shared experience, not complex entertainment and distractions.

An Ancient Question Worth Asking Again

Before planning your next event, meeting, or social gathering, ask:

What would people in your family have done ten thousand years ago?

Then see if that just might still work.

Get free resources on building the community you long for at www.charlesvogl.com

Order the 2nd Edition with 25% new content