You Can Build Real Connection Without Fancy Planning
People Don’t Want Org. Structure. They Want Each Other.
Many new leaders want to gather people around shared passions like hiking, running, or camping. Their intentions are sincere, and their energy is strong. Yet often, their first instinct leads them in the wrong direction. They begin by asking questions like, “Do I need to start a nonprofit?” or “Should I open a bank account?”
They start by thinking about organization structure, legal entities, and organizational strategy. In truth, none of those are necessary to create meaningful community. People aren’t showing up to admire your paperwork. They’re showing up to connect.
Eric Winters, the founder of Heylo, sees this all the time. He works with emerging leaders who feel deeply committed to building something real and inclusive. And he watches many of them stumble by focusing on structure instead of experience.
The simple truth: when people accept your invitation and show up, they’re offering their time and their presence. They want to meet others who care about the same things. They want to feel part of something human. Focusing on logistics before considering experience often causes leaders to miss that opportunity.
The Question That Changes Everything
Before you plan your next gathering, ask yourself one clear question: What kind of experience do I want my guests to have?
This question shifts the focus away from yourself and toward the people you want to serve. It invites you to consider how someone will feel after spending time with your group. When you focus here, you stop worrying about branding and start building connection.
A Tale of Two Events
Eric shared two events that happened within the same week. The first was a trail run with a small group, six to eight people gathered early in the morning. Most didn’t know each other. It was cold and dark. Once all the runners arrived, the leader glanced at his watch and said, “I think we’re all here. Let’s go.”
The group started running. No introductions. No warm welcome. Just quietly running in a single file line.
Each person could have done the same run distance from their front door. What they couldn’t get at home was connection, and they didn’t find it there either.
The second event was a roller-skating meetup hosted by a woman named Jen. She welcomed the group, shared a few community announcements, and then invited everyone to play a game. It was a simple version of rock-paper-scissors. You had to introduce yourself before playing, and if you lost, you joined the winner’s team.
Within minutes, strangers turned into teammates. People were laughing, cheering, and sharing high-fives. The event had joy and energy. Jen didn’t invest in expensive materials or hours planning. She created a cost-free connecting moment using a children's game. So, it's possible.
What People Really Come For
Runners brought their shoes. They researched the time and location. They arrived on schedule. They came to meet others who run. And the host missed that opportunity for a really special day.
This happens far too often. Leaders believe their job is to entertain, present or manage. Instead, they're so much more powerful when they create space for people to connect.
The Three Promises of Every Gathering
In my work, I train leaders to deliver three promises.
You don’t need to name them, though you do need to fulfill them:
Give people the freedom to participate or not. People must feel safe to say no.
Give guests a chance to meet each other. That’s often their main reason for coming. It means we have to give them space and time to do this.
Offer people the chance to grow in the way they hope to grow. Some want new skills. Others want community. Many want both.
The trail run failed two of the three promises. And fixing that would have taken maybe less than 10 minutes. Imagine if the leader had said, “Before we start running, let’s go around and share our names. I’d love to hear what inspired you to come today.” Someone might have shared, “I’m rebuilding my strength after beating cancer, and I know if friends are waiting for me, I’ll show up.”
That simple statement would have transformed the run. Everyone else would now have a reason to support that person, and the run would feel different for everyone. There would be a clear reason to share a conversation after the miles.
These Simple Moments Create Extraordinary Events
Eric pointed out that many leaders spend hours planning their event route. They study trail maps, think through loops and elevation, and coordinate the perfect distance. That kind of preparation matters, and it shows commitment.
What will make this experience meaningful?
The difference between a forgettable and a life-changing event lives in small, intentional moments. You don’t need a professional background to create them. You only need a few good questions.
Use Prompts to Unlock Connection
A thoughtful prompt can reframe an entire experience. Try asking, “What inspired you to come today?” or “What do you hope to take away from this event?”
These questions are simple. They don’t ask guests to share anything too personal. And they allow people to name what matters to them. More importantly, they give others permission to listen with care.
You Don’t Need Big Plans. You Need Thoughtful Moments
You don’t need to form a nonprofit, design a logo, or secure a venue to host something meaningful. You simply need to honor what your guests came for. Give them a way to meet each other. Give them space to feel heard.
Give them permission to grow in the ways they already want to grow. That’s where real community lives. And that’s how you can create something unforgettable.
Get free resources on building the community you long for at www.charlesvogl.com
